Why I wanna be blind

Scene : 3 AM in the Engineering lobby. Place is still swarming with studying Koreans and Desis

Situation : Protogoanist dressed in the following manner

Blue jeans, yellow shirt with pinstripes, green sweater, gray socks with purple spots.

The other desis in the lobby were wearing various permutations and combinations of the same. I'm not too fashionable and all that but honestly, why do some of us desis dress like inmates from a madhouse?

PJ time

Gori to desi in tweed : Hey there, are you here for the 70's revival festival?
Desi : No I'm from Patiala


PS : This post needed three edits for language that seemed akin to a retard typin with a banana

PPS : Why would a retard type with a banana? Because....He's a retard!! I'm on a roll

That time again

As much as I hate random posts, I hate them emotion soaked ones as well. But today I must indulge.

And if you’re taking a walk through the garden of life
What do you think you’d expect you would see?
Just like a mirror reflecting the moves of your life
And in the river reflections of me

We’re blood brothers, we’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers, we’re blood brothers
-- Iron Maiden, Blood Brothers

At 16, he had enough and said goodbye to a family he knew for less than 4 years. The fauj beckoned and a gunner joined the ranks. Paki border, Sikh terrorists, tapping chinese lines. Been there done that.

Every visit to the MH for those nasty shots had one great moment always.

Meri santaan mujhse bhi aage

A sign on the wall that he showed me every single time. A line that I'll take to the grave. All those years. All that bullshit you put up with. All the civilian crap you deal with everyday. All that beer we drank together. All those moments we missed. All the life that lies ahead.

Thanks Dad. Cheers

PS : Even now he's back home cursing at "civilian behen****s" driving to work in that snarling traffic and polluted air my beautiful hometown affords. 10 months aint that long. See ya soon daddy-o

Intricacies of Human Interaction

The first human interaction, in my opinion, was "Urk Grunk gook". Thats caveman parlance for "Urk Grunk gook". If you're one them Intelligent Design Theorists, it still holds. Adam couldnt have said anything better to Eve. Guys are wired that way. More about that some other time.

I've noticed that the habit of "hanging out" with fellows demands some sort of greeting to start the elaborate social ritual called conversation. Needless to say, I'm severely handicapped at this, not that I care. But that doesnt stop me from observing the severe complications that arise when two humans meet.

1. The I-cant-see-you method

I get a lot of this. The subject initiating this protocol pretends to see the imaginary penguin to my right and rushes away in its pursuit


2. The ok-I-see-you-but-wont-talk

I get plenty of this too. There's something in my mind about being unpopular but I cant put my finger on it. Oh well


3. The Gay wave

Subject waves hand like I get my kicks from watching his/her palm moving left to right at 30 mph. Best replied with methods 1 and soon-to-be-discussed method 8

4. Scream Attack

Usually between two members of the female species. Starts with a hoot and is followed by "Oh my god, you know what/guess what...." This and all that follows in due course of the greeting method is irrelevant. Also its a good idea avoiding members of this clan. Yes, I'm gonna die a bachelor

5. The Hug

Rendered usually by the fairier sex. If not, best avoided by method 1 and soon-to-be-discussed method 8. I always screw this up. Which way does the head tilt again? And how does one avoid all the curves without being called pervert?

6. The wont let go-till-death-do-us-apart shake.

Usually preceded/ fore-warned by method 3. Subject grabs your hand like its the holy grail and doesnt let go of hand and or shoulder. If rendered by sweaty palms, my sympathies lie with you. Best avoided, you guessed it, with soon-to-be-discussed method 8

7. The shake-boogie

The most complicated human co-ordination increasingly complicated by teens every year. Current versions include -> Shake, withdraw hands to merge into finger clasp, separate hands, click thumb and punch knuckles, contact bottom hand surface of subject 1 with top surface of subject 2 and switch surface contact. In parallel, the other hand pulls opposing shoulder closer at 100 mph. I'll get this right yet

8. The one finger salute

Always works. Hold the birdie out with one/two hands. Guaranteed relief from fellow humans. Side effects include lonely friday nights

Doing my bit to chart human behavior. Peace

P.S : No penguins were harmed during the publishing of this article.

P.P.S : Penguins dont taste that great

P.P.P.S : Time for me to curl up and cry "I'm lonely"

Tonight

Warm dinner. A cold breeze. On the roof with my socks on. New songs in my headphones. My thoughts. Me. Silence


Peace